Cleaning up the mess

I've been trying to update more often...cut it from two months to a week. Let's see if I can keep it up. I should have no reason not to write I sure have a lot of time on my hands these days.

So the last couple days I've been reminded kind of a lot about how much my choices have had an impact on others. And because I am me...I have tried really hard to hang onto control and try and clean up the mess myself.

Reflecting on this reminded me of a story and then God spoke...

When I was younger I always wanted to do things 'all by my own self'....no surprise there. So one day I was pouring a cup of juice 'all by my own self' and I spilled it all over the floor. Well I thought I would be slick and clean it up 'all by my own self' before anyone saw. I cleaned up the mess, stood back and thought I was good. Thought no one would ever know. Well a little while later mom came home and stepped on the sticky kitchen floor and saw the red kool aid splashed on the wall and the fridge. I don't remember her getting mad. She just told me that is was better to get a grown up and ask for help to clean it up.

Same scenario this time I'm just a lot older and made a bigger mess. I made this mess and I've been trying to clean it up myself. Trying to cover pieces up so no one can see. BUT it isn't working. I'm running out of paper towels. And I'm getting tired.

What I felt God saying was, 'Sarah, why didn't you come get me? Let me help you clean up this mess so we do it the right way.'

After that thoughts started running through my head...just like when I was little girl trying to answer the same question for my mom. 'I didn't want to bother you.' 'I can do it 'all by my own self.' 'I made the mess, I should clean it up.'

He spoke again...'Sarah, you are NEVER a bother to me. You were NEVER meant to do it alone. This mess is too big for you, you need my help.'

I just started to cry. And He let me. Then I opened His word and He loved on me some more.

Today I'm working towards giving up a little bit more control...