Church

Where along the way did WE forget that its all about Jesus and start acting like it is all about us? It's sad to see how far off we are. How selfish and prideful we are.

A current theme I keep coming across lately is the state of the American Church and just how disgusted Christians are with what it has become. NEWSFLASH-YOU ARE THE CHURCH.

Instead of complaining about it, why don't we step up and do something about it? Sure, it's a lot easier to complain and wait for someone else to step up and fix things...but you might be waiting a while. And then what happens if it isn't fixed to your liking? I guess it all boils down to selfishness and pride.

I'm not mad or disgusted. My heart is breaking and heavy. And I can't help but imagine that Jesus' is the same.

I don't understand why people criticize and put others down for using their gifts to advance the Kingdom when they themselves aren't bothering to even try and put theirs to use. So what if we fall short or don't get things right the first time...at least were trying.

Forget leadership...what's that? You mean I have to submit to another? Doesn't make sense to me. People are perfectly happy and content when you 'lead' the way they want you too, but the second you make a decision and forget to inform them oh my gosh forget it.

I mean we are called to submit to the authority of Jesus Christ, right? I don't always like the way He 'leads' me, but I TRUST that He's leading me in the right direction. Isn't that what parents expect from their children? To trust that when they say no it is for their own good? Shouldn't the same go for the leaders of the church? If you are where you believe God has you then shouldn't you trust the leadership? Even if, God forbid, they head in a direction you may not be comfortable with.

Change is the constant companion of progress. Are you changing to look more like Jesus? Are you progressing in the right direction or getting left behind in your own bitterness and strife?

Things got all out of whack when people, myself included, decided to jump in the drivers seat and play God for themselves. Instead of pointing fingers and looking around watching to see who or when the state of the American Church will change for the better, WE ALL need to take a look inward and check the condition of our hearts.

Jesus is contagious. If we are doing what we can to imitate Christ, it will catch and people will follow. All we need is to keep our focus on Jesus. Take a look at the bigger picture...It's so much more than a good parking spot and a smile and hand shake from the pastor on a Sunday morning. It's about people, family, friends, souls that are lost and going to hell watching us that call ourselves Christians fight with one another about meaningless issues.

At the end of the day what really matters to you? The child that sleeps down the hall from you that may not know Jesus? The estranged sister that denies God? The spouse that's souls eternity is in question?

Determined to step outside of myself and everyday look more and more like Jesus...
Join me and WE can change the world. Sit back and watch me...in the end, you'll regret it.

Silence

I've had the house ALL TO MYSELF for the past 4 days, and I still have about 6 more days before the family returns. It was so hard to watch them leave for vacation without me. And even harder not to quit my job and take off with them. I actually heavily considered the thought, but knew it wasn't right. I knew in my heart, that things had happened the way they did, and that God had a plan for this week or so alone.

I'm only half way in and I feel as if I have had open heart surgery. Which, I'm experiencing, can be painful. It's really easy, when life is happening, in all the noise to put off or ignore the voice of God. Sadly, we use it as an excuse. I know I'm guilty of it.

In the silence, when no one else is around, its hard to ignore someone who is speaking loud and clear. At the beginning of this week, before the family even left I was reminded that I need to let God love on me. The exact questions was, 'when was the last time you let God tell you He loves you?'. It's been awhile. Not letting Him tell me, makes me forget who I really am. And I know, from experience, that can really mess someone up. And I've allowed it to mess me up. I've allowed the enemy to come in and whisper things in my ear. Things I've chosen to believe and not put up a fight even when deep down I know the truth.

Before my family even left, I was bent on destruction. I already had a plan in my head of how this week was going to go...what I was going to do. Thankfully, I can tell you I have not gone through with any of my plan. BUT allowed my Creator to draw me back to Him. I've allowed Him to love on me and remind me of who I really am. I've soaked myself in His word and spent time talking, walking, and even crying with Him.

I don't know what my future holds...but I know who holds my future. Leaning on His grace again...

Follow Your Heart

When someone tells you to follow your heart, what does that mean exactly? What if what your heart is telling you doesn't line up with God's word? But what if the thought of not following your heart makes you sick? I guess the real question is shouldn't the two match up?

I mean if your walking with God and your in His Word, should that verse in Psalms apply? You know the one I'm talking about, the one that says He will give you the desires of your heart?

Before anyone comments...I know what the verse means. I know it doesn't mean that He will give you what you want or even think you need. I know that it means that your heart will align with His, your desires will match His desires for you.

So I guess that's my next question. What went wrong? Why isn't my heart aligned with His? How did we get on two seperate pages. Shoot, today I feel like were in two totally different books.

I jumped the gun. Somewhere along the way I decided that I knew better than God. That I knew what I wanted and needed and I went ahead and got it without so much as asking Him what He thought.

And so here I sit-heart sick, distracted, confused, hurt, sad, and lost. I'm missing Jesus. In the midst of all the craziness the last few weeks I walked away. He has patiently sat and waited. I want to be where He is at. I want things to change. I can't live in mere survival mode. In fact, I'm convinced that it's an insult to God. He didn't send His son to die for me just so I could barely make it through my day without falling apart. He sent His son to die for me so I could, to quote His exact words, 'have a rich and satisfying life'.

So why do we settle for less that He gives? Why do we settle for less than we deserve? Why is it so easy to get 'caught up' in the things of this world. Even more so, why is it so hard to walk away?

Lots on my mind today...