Waiting

I'm usually sleeping by now, but I drank a cup of coffee at 9 o'clock and now I'm wide awake. Yea...not so smart, I know. So I figured I would update since it won't be awhile until I do again.

I'm leaving tomorrow night for St. Louis for a couple of days. I'm pretty excited, but definitely nervous. I've known about the trip for three weeks now, and God has definitely been preparing me for what's to come.

I'm excited to see and spend time with the people who invested so much time and effort into helping me become the person I am today...the people who helped me taste freedom and experience God for who He is. I've never experienced St. Louis outside the walls of Mercy so I'm looking forward to taking in the city in a different way.

As I sit here in the dark in front of the computer my mind is racing with different thoughts and ideas, but I can't seem to focus in to get anything written down.

Today was a pretty nutty Monday. I was asked to work an extra hour, no big deal to me since I'm off the rest of this week. I was puked on twice...pretty nasty. Really wanted to go to the gym but never made it. Went to the grocery story for one thing and spent $50. Packed for a 5 day trip and you would think I was going away for 6 months.

I'm hungry for something more...I feel like God is telling me it's time to step it up. I need to take the initiative and do my part. He's ready to show me more of Him, but He wants to know if I'm ready for where He wants to take me...That past three weeks I've been coasting and keeping myself pretty busy. The last few days God has really been doing a work on my heart. It's time to press in and take my relationship to the next level. There has been a couple situations I've been avoiding and simply saying to others and even to God...'Well, I'm just waiting on Him to show me'. The truth is, He's been waiting on me. He already knows where He wants to take me and what he wants to do with me...He's waiting for me to take His hand and allow Him to lead me. No more holding back...I've grabbed a hold of His hand and I'm not letting go. (Even if I tried, He wouldn't let go-pretty reassuring) Walking by faith is a pretty wild adventure that's worth all it costs.

Really looking forward to this trip. Most excited about spending time with some of the most amazing woman I know and being able to relax and spend time with God with no hidden agenda.

Update when I get back...