I'm usually sleeping by now, but I drank a cup of coffee at 9 o'clock and now I'm wide awake. Yea...not so smart, I know. So I figured I would update since it won't be awhile until I do again.
I'm leaving tomorrow night for St. Louis for a couple of days. I'm pretty excited, but definitely nervous. I've known about the trip for three weeks now, and God has definitely been preparing me for what's to come.
I'm excited to see and spend time with the people who invested so much time and effort into helping me become the person I am today...the people who helped me taste freedom and experience God for who He is. I've never experienced St. Louis outside the walls of Mercy so I'm looking forward to taking in the city in a different way.
As I sit here in the dark in front of the computer my mind is racing with different thoughts and ideas, but I can't seem to focus in to get anything written down.
Today was a pretty nutty Monday. I was asked to work an extra hour, no big deal to me since I'm off the rest of this week. I was puked on twice...pretty nasty. Really wanted to go to the gym but never made it. Went to the grocery story for one thing and spent $50. Packed for a 5 day trip and you would think I was going away for 6 months.
I'm hungry for something more...I feel like God is telling me it's time to step it up. I need to take the initiative and do my part. He's ready to show me more of Him, but He wants to know if I'm ready for where He wants to take me...That past three weeks I've been coasting and keeping myself pretty busy. The last few days God has really been doing a work on my heart. It's time to press in and take my relationship to the next level. There has been a couple situations I've been avoiding and simply saying to others and even to God...'Well, I'm just waiting on Him to show me'. The truth is, He's been waiting on me. He already knows where He wants to take me and what he wants to do with me...He's waiting for me to take His hand and allow Him to lead me. No more holding back...I've grabbed a hold of His hand and I'm not letting go. (Even if I tried, He wouldn't let go-pretty reassuring) Walking by faith is a pretty wild adventure that's worth all it costs.
Really looking forward to this trip. Most excited about spending time with some of the most amazing woman I know and being able to relax and spend time with God with no hidden agenda.
Update when I get back...
Monday, February 23, 2009
Saturday, February 21, 2009
True Worship
Worship is not religion or ritual, worship is an intimate and vital encounter with a person. True worship includes the full recognition of who God is. This recognition brings about the realization of our own sinfulness. It is life changing. It creates within the worshippers heart a hatred for sin. It results in repentance, obedience, submission, and a desire for holiness. It generates a desire to show mercy and it expresses forgiveness. It includes a joyful acceptance of all that God has provided by His grace. It is not exclusive. It will compel the worshipper to include others. The one who has truly worshiped will have a sense of peace and a confident expectation of what God is about to do. True worship produces a transformed life, reflecting the one who has been worshipped.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
On My Way Out
Don't have much time this morning on way out the door for work...
This is what I'm holding onto this morning as I set out for the rest of my day.
1 Thess. 1:8 'Your lives are echoing the Masters word...The news of your faith in God is out. We don't even have to say anything anymore-you're the message'
What message are you sending for your creator? People watch and observe you more than you realize...we can talk about Jesus until we are blue in the face but if are actions don't match it is just a waist of time.
People will not start to trust Jesus until they see a clear difference between us and the rest of the world. They need to see Jesus working for us before they try it out themselves.
It kind of reminds me on an info-mercial...The people go to crazy lengths to convince you that their product works, but it isn't until you see it actually do what it is suppose to that your 'sold' on their item.
BE Jesus to someone today...
This is what I'm holding onto this morning as I set out for the rest of my day.
1 Thess. 1:8 'Your lives are echoing the Masters word...The news of your faith in God is out. We don't even have to say anything anymore-you're the message'
What message are you sending for your creator? People watch and observe you more than you realize...we can talk about Jesus until we are blue in the face but if are actions don't match it is just a waist of time.
People will not start to trust Jesus until they see a clear difference between us and the rest of the world. They need to see Jesus working for us before they try it out themselves.
It kind of reminds me on an info-mercial...The people go to crazy lengths to convince you that their product works, but it isn't until you see it actually do what it is suppose to that your 'sold' on their item.
BE Jesus to someone today...
Friday, February 13, 2009
MY Day
In my last post I said...'Me and Jesus meet everyday for a cup of coffee before I start my day'.
Does anyone see anything wrong with that sentence? I do. I start MY day with Jesus and then leave Him there in MY bedroom as I go on with MY day. And then once MY day is over I come back to MY room and there He is just sitting on my bed right where I left Him waiting for me.
I was hit that with pretty hard this week...because I realized that is exactly what I've been doing. Me and Jesus meet every morning, but then I was just leaving Him behind. Everyday He would ask me if He could come and I just didn't want to be bothered because I had so much to do and so much going on. I've made Him out to be like a puppy or a little brother. I'll play with you when I want but then when I've got to go that's it.
Selfish right? Yep...that is it exactly. That is what I'm facing this week-my own selfishness. Pretty ugly, huh? I'll say. Hasn't been easy to take a look inside and see that but it is what it is and Jesus has been forgiving and patient as we deal with what we are looking at.
I'm striving to make Him apart of EVERYTHING I do. I want Him to go to work with me. and to the gym. and the coffee shop. I want Him to be the first one I call when I get good news. or bad news. I've had so much going on this past week and I've been feeling a little burnt out. I've come to realize it's because I was trying to do it all on my own...and it was working, but barely and it wouldn't of lasted long at the rate I was going. He is WAY stronger and smarter than me...and He desperately wants to be apart of ALL my life NOT just the beginning and the end.
That's where I'm at tonight...that's what I'm dealing with...there I go being selfish again...That's what WE'RE dealing with. ; )
So thankful He waited around for me and is still offering to do life with me.
Does anyone see anything wrong with that sentence? I do. I start MY day with Jesus and then leave Him there in MY bedroom as I go on with MY day. And then once MY day is over I come back to MY room and there He is just sitting on my bed right where I left Him waiting for me.
I was hit that with pretty hard this week...because I realized that is exactly what I've been doing. Me and Jesus meet every morning, but then I was just leaving Him behind. Everyday He would ask me if He could come and I just didn't want to be bothered because I had so much to do and so much going on. I've made Him out to be like a puppy or a little brother. I'll play with you when I want but then when I've got to go that's it.
Selfish right? Yep...that is it exactly. That is what I'm facing this week-my own selfishness. Pretty ugly, huh? I'll say. Hasn't been easy to take a look inside and see that but it is what it is and Jesus has been forgiving and patient as we deal with what we are looking at.
I'm striving to make Him apart of EVERYTHING I do. I want Him to go to work with me. and to the gym. and the coffee shop. I want Him to be the first one I call when I get good news. or bad news. I've had so much going on this past week and I've been feeling a little burnt out. I've come to realize it's because I was trying to do it all on my own...and it was working, but barely and it wouldn't of lasted long at the rate I was going. He is WAY stronger and smarter than me...and He desperately wants to be apart of ALL my life NOT just the beginning and the end.
That's where I'm at tonight...that's what I'm dealing with...there I go being selfish again...That's what WE'RE dealing with. ; )
So thankful He waited around for me and is still offering to do life with me.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
7 days
Can hardly believe it's been a week since I last wrote.
I've been pretty sick up and down...the enemy knows thats the way to get me. I get so mean and crabby when I'm sick. I've got to regain control of that, I can't let him get to me. Got to spend the WHOLE DAY and NIGHT in bed yesterday. I slept ALL day which helped so much.
It's been a week since my brother has been locked up. He's already been transferred from one jail to another. Now he's awaiting his spot to open up in boot camp. We were originally told we couldn't have any contact with Him for the first two months he was gone. Well Mikey knows away around everything and got his new cellmates girlfriend to call my mom. We are able to send him letters and books only for the next two weeks until he leaves for boot camp. I'm sending him a bible tomorrow! God is already starting to move! I'm sure Mikey will be less than thrilled, but hey what else does he have to do sitting in a small cell for 23 hours a day? If you think of it...pray for him.
Sunday night got to go to a pretty cool church in the city and hear Chris Caine speak. She was amazing as usual. The worship in itself blew me away. I could feel Gods presence like never before. It was unreal. I wasn't feeling good all day Sunday and was hesitant to make the trip to the city but something kept telling me to fight it and go...so I did. I left so filled up and refreshed. Good stuff.
Me and Jesus have a routine. We meet every morning for a cup of coffee before I start my day. Well, Saturday through Monday our plans were interrupted because of drama, oversleeping, and sickness. By the time this morning came I was so hungry for His truth I couldn't take it. I devoured my devotionals this morning. I did so half heartedly because I'm still feeling super sick...but I wanted something...anything to hold onto for the day. The days I don't meet with Jesus in the morning, I'm a mess! My attitude is off the wall and my reactions to things that wouldn't even normally bother me are ridiculous. In a way, I think it was a good thing to miss out of my time with Him the past three days because it taught me a few things.
I was concerned that I would start to do it just out of routine or habit...but this confirmed that wasn't the case at all because I was starving come Tuesday morning! We need to remember what a privilege it is to meet with our Savior.
If I've learned anything this week...its that if I continue to be obedient and trust Gods will for my life and not my own...He will go above and beyond to supply all my needs and to use me more than I could ever imagine for His kingdom. My one desire right now is that God would use me. I am confident because of my obedience and sensitivity to His heart, He is doing just that.
Meeting a woman for coffee tomorrow to hopefully get involved with a pretty cool teen program here in the suburbs of Chicago. Super excited. Check out the site if you have time...maybe you'd like to help too! www.thebridgeteencenter.org
That's all for now...no deep thoughts today. I'm still feeling a bit sick...I'm confident I'll be back to my normal self in no time and boy I can't wait!
I've been pretty sick up and down...the enemy knows thats the way to get me. I get so mean and crabby when I'm sick. I've got to regain control of that, I can't let him get to me. Got to spend the WHOLE DAY and NIGHT in bed yesterday. I slept ALL day which helped so much.
It's been a week since my brother has been locked up. He's already been transferred from one jail to another. Now he's awaiting his spot to open up in boot camp. We were originally told we couldn't have any contact with Him for the first two months he was gone. Well Mikey knows away around everything and got his new cellmates girlfriend to call my mom. We are able to send him letters and books only for the next two weeks until he leaves for boot camp. I'm sending him a bible tomorrow! God is already starting to move! I'm sure Mikey will be less than thrilled, but hey what else does he have to do sitting in a small cell for 23 hours a day? If you think of it...pray for him.
Sunday night got to go to a pretty cool church in the city and hear Chris Caine speak. She was amazing as usual. The worship in itself blew me away. I could feel Gods presence like never before. It was unreal. I wasn't feeling good all day Sunday and was hesitant to make the trip to the city but something kept telling me to fight it and go...so I did. I left so filled up and refreshed. Good stuff.
Me and Jesus have a routine. We meet every morning for a cup of coffee before I start my day. Well, Saturday through Monday our plans were interrupted because of drama, oversleeping, and sickness. By the time this morning came I was so hungry for His truth I couldn't take it. I devoured my devotionals this morning. I did so half heartedly because I'm still feeling super sick...but I wanted something...anything to hold onto for the day. The days I don't meet with Jesus in the morning, I'm a mess! My attitude is off the wall and my reactions to things that wouldn't even normally bother me are ridiculous. In a way, I think it was a good thing to miss out of my time with Him the past three days because it taught me a few things.
I was concerned that I would start to do it just out of routine or habit...but this confirmed that wasn't the case at all because I was starving come Tuesday morning! We need to remember what a privilege it is to meet with our Savior.
If I've learned anything this week...its that if I continue to be obedient and trust Gods will for my life and not my own...He will go above and beyond to supply all my needs and to use me more than I could ever imagine for His kingdom. My one desire right now is that God would use me. I am confident because of my obedience and sensitivity to His heart, He is doing just that.
Meeting a woman for coffee tomorrow to hopefully get involved with a pretty cool teen program here in the suburbs of Chicago. Super excited. Check out the site if you have time...maybe you'd like to help too! www.thebridgeteencenter.org
That's all for now...no deep thoughts today. I'm still feeling a bit sick...I'm confident I'll be back to my normal self in no time and boy I can't wait!
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Experiences
Deut. 11:2 'Remember today what you have learned about the Lord through your experiences with Him.'
Stumbled across this verse this morning...been thinking about it a lot.
How do you get to know somebody? Talking to them. Spending time with them. Investing time into them.
Who do you invest your time into? Is it making a difference in your life? Most importantly is it making a difference for the better?
I can sit in church every Sunday and read a million books about Jesus but that doesn't mean that I know Him. That would make me know a lot about Him, but it wouldn't make me really know Him.
Do you know ABOUT Jesus? or do you KNOW Jesus?
Have you experienced Him lately? Are you investing time into your relationship with Him?
It is only in His presence that I am changed. It is only is those quite moments when it is just me and Him that I really get to know Him for who He is.
Luckily for us, Jesus doesn't change. He is the same yesterday, today and forever. But we do change. And even more so...the people we choose to surround ourselves with have an impact on us. Are you allowing Jesus to be one of those people? Are your experiences with Him changing your life?
I can honestly say...I've experienced Jesus. Better yet, I am experiencing Him. I'm striving to be more like Him everyday. In experiencing Him, I'm seeing Him more and more for who He is...He is continuing to show me more and more of Him...I'm falling in love all over again.
Invest your time in something worthwhile...something meaningful...something that gives you purpose and significance...something that wont disappoint...something that will always love you...something solid...something you can trust...invest your time in Jesus.
Once you experience Him you will NEVER be the same.
Stumbled across this verse this morning...been thinking about it a lot.
How do you get to know somebody? Talking to them. Spending time with them. Investing time into them.
Who do you invest your time into? Is it making a difference in your life? Most importantly is it making a difference for the better?
I can sit in church every Sunday and read a million books about Jesus but that doesn't mean that I know Him. That would make me know a lot about Him, but it wouldn't make me really know Him.
Do you know ABOUT Jesus? or do you KNOW Jesus?
Have you experienced Him lately? Are you investing time into your relationship with Him?
It is only in His presence that I am changed. It is only is those quite moments when it is just me and Him that I really get to know Him for who He is.
Luckily for us, Jesus doesn't change. He is the same yesterday, today and forever. But we do change. And even more so...the people we choose to surround ourselves with have an impact on us. Are you allowing Jesus to be one of those people? Are your experiences with Him changing your life?
I can honestly say...I've experienced Jesus. Better yet, I am experiencing Him. I'm striving to be more like Him everyday. In experiencing Him, I'm seeing Him more and more for who He is...He is continuing to show me more and more of Him...I'm falling in love all over again.
Invest your time in something worthwhile...something meaningful...something that gives you purpose and significance...something that wont disappoint...something that will always love you...something solid...something you can trust...invest your time in Jesus.
Once you experience Him you will NEVER be the same.
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