Thursday was one heck of a day...let me tell you.
God used a handful of unusual circumstances this week to remind me of that I am man, and He is God.
Someone told me Sunday that after your greatest victories come your biggest trials and temptations. I halfheartedly responded saying that I knew and that I was prepared to handle whatever was to come.
Little did I know what I would face this week and yesterday I finally broke.
This week I was reminded that I am NEVER above temptation. And also that like Paul says I will always be growing and changing...Christs work in me is not finished until the day He returns to bring me home. It was also revealed to me just how selfish I really am.
As I was reflecting this morning I was very much grieved by my sin...which I believe is how it should be. We can't ignore our sin...because it is exactly what put Jesus on the cross. Now I'm not talking sin like drugs and alcohol, but sin like selfishness, greed, and envy.
I'm so thankful that Gods mercies are new every morning and that yesterday is considered my past. It's been a tough week but Gods strength is perfected in my weakness which brings Him the ultimate glory.
So happy its Friday...looking forward to sleeping in tomorrow. God is good...He knew the things I would face this week and He wasn't rattled, I take comfort in that. In fact, He used the things I faced this week to challenge me, grow me, and use me in ways I wouldn't of that possible. I love Him.
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Challenge
Gave my testimony at church today. All week I prayed God would send people that needed to hear what He had to say through me. He did just that. I saw faces that I haven't seen in quite awhile. I'm confident that God is going to use what I said to help change someones life. The thing I'm more excited for is to allow people to watch me 'walk out' what I shared with them today. If my words and actions don't match up there is no use...I would just be waisting my breathe. What would be the point? There would be none.
I want Jesus to look good on me. I want Jesus to look attractive. I think so often people are turned off to Jesus because we make him look so bad. Who wants to serve a boring God? No one wants a stain glass Jesus. No one wants to walk on egg shells all the time and constantly be looking over there shoulder to make sure there doing the 'right thing'.
I don't know about you, but I serve a God who is nothing but boring. I serve a God I can be myself around. A God I can spill my guts too and He still loves me and wants to hang out with me. That's the kind of Jesus this world needs to see. And that's the kind of Jesus I want to show them.
The enemy was out to get me all week. He tried to distract me like no other. He put all types of fears and worries in my mind. I'll admit, at moments I gave into his plan. In fact, I spent the majority of my day Thursday in such a fog that it was difficult to function at times. But I didn't give up. I knew that he didn't want me to share my testimony at church, but I was determined not to let him stop me. The things he pressed on me pushed me to pray more and seek harder. I think he finally got to the point where he knew he wasn't going to get my spiritually or emotionally...so he tried physically. All day Saturday I had a sore throat and a runny nose. Doesn't work well when your going to speak in front of a crowd. BUT I didn't let that stop me either. Sunday morning he tried again to attack me and discourage me.
The enemy has already been defeated.The only power he has over my life is the power I give him. And trust me he will take all he can get. This week I gave him an inch and he preceded to take a mile. Thankfully God stepped in and reminded me that I don't have to allow Satan to do this too me. I remained faithful and obedient and I believe God is going to honor that. I did what I was called to do and the rest is up to Him.
Looking forward to the coming days. I feel so blessed to be able to watch His hands work and be apart of His masterpiece.
I want Jesus to look good on me. I want Jesus to look attractive. I think so often people are turned off to Jesus because we make him look so bad. Who wants to serve a boring God? No one wants a stain glass Jesus. No one wants to walk on egg shells all the time and constantly be looking over there shoulder to make sure there doing the 'right thing'.
I don't know about you, but I serve a God who is nothing but boring. I serve a God I can be myself around. A God I can spill my guts too and He still loves me and wants to hang out with me. That's the kind of Jesus this world needs to see. And that's the kind of Jesus I want to show them.
The enemy was out to get me all week. He tried to distract me like no other. He put all types of fears and worries in my mind. I'll admit, at moments I gave into his plan. In fact, I spent the majority of my day Thursday in such a fog that it was difficult to function at times. But I didn't give up. I knew that he didn't want me to share my testimony at church, but I was determined not to let him stop me. The things he pressed on me pushed me to pray more and seek harder. I think he finally got to the point where he knew he wasn't going to get my spiritually or emotionally...so he tried physically. All day Saturday I had a sore throat and a runny nose. Doesn't work well when your going to speak in front of a crowd. BUT I didn't let that stop me either. Sunday morning he tried again to attack me and discourage me.
The enemy has already been defeated.The only power he has over my life is the power I give him. And trust me he will take all he can get. This week I gave him an inch and he preceded to take a mile. Thankfully God stepped in and reminded me that I don't have to allow Satan to do this too me. I remained faithful and obedient and I believe God is going to honor that. I did what I was called to do and the rest is up to Him.
Looking forward to the coming days. I feel so blessed to be able to watch His hands work and be apart of His masterpiece.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
My Day Off
I spent my day off doing an assortment of things...
Met a pretty awesome girl for coffee. Babysat. Cooked. Cleaned.
As a write, Babbi, Donovan and myself are all sitting in the same room and were all getting along-surprisingly enough. (That doesn't happen often) We have the opportunity this week to spend a lot of time just the three of us, which I'm really looking forward too. We accomplished to do homework without fighting and all agree on the same thing for dinner. That is a huge accomplishment in our house!
Yep, you read correctly I spent my day off babysitting-some think its crazy...I think its easy extra cash.
I watched Carter roll around on the carpet, put things in his mouth, explore the house and his surroundings, and sleep all without a care in the world. He was perfectly content in the moment. Even when it came time for lunch, he wasn't worried because he knew that if he let me know I would feed him. The only thing that he was remotely concerned about was when I wasn't in the same room as him. I can't help but think that's how God wants things to be for us...
He wants us to be content in the moment. Not worry about tomorrow. Rest assured that He will provide. Explore knowing He has gone before to 'safe proof' our path and that He is following close behind to catch us if we fall.
I believe life is suppose to be that simple...but we as humans complicate it to no end. Like Carter was to me, the only thing we need to be worried about is the absence of Gods presence. I want to live my life in such a way that I am constantly, and even subconsciously aware of His presence.
I'm convinced that childlike faith is a discipline. We need to train ourselves to become like a child again. Being with Carter today, helped me once again to slow down and take the moment for what it is.
Going nowhere...Going to spend my time in the Now Here (nowhere) moment...Going to hang out with the two people than mean more to me than life itself. So thankful that God has given me another chance to influence their lives...for the better
Met a pretty awesome girl for coffee. Babysat. Cooked. Cleaned.
As a write, Babbi, Donovan and myself are all sitting in the same room and were all getting along-surprisingly enough. (That doesn't happen often) We have the opportunity this week to spend a lot of time just the three of us, which I'm really looking forward too. We accomplished to do homework without fighting and all agree on the same thing for dinner. That is a huge accomplishment in our house!
Yep, you read correctly I spent my day off babysitting-some think its crazy...I think its easy extra cash.
I watched Carter roll around on the carpet, put things in his mouth, explore the house and his surroundings, and sleep all without a care in the world. He was perfectly content in the moment. Even when it came time for lunch, he wasn't worried because he knew that if he let me know I would feed him. The only thing that he was remotely concerned about was when I wasn't in the same room as him. I can't help but think that's how God wants things to be for us...
He wants us to be content in the moment. Not worry about tomorrow. Rest assured that He will provide. Explore knowing He has gone before to 'safe proof' our path and that He is following close behind to catch us if we fall.
I believe life is suppose to be that simple...but we as humans complicate it to no end. Like Carter was to me, the only thing we need to be worried about is the absence of Gods presence. I want to live my life in such a way that I am constantly, and even subconsciously aware of His presence.
I'm convinced that childlike faith is a discipline. We need to train ourselves to become like a child again. Being with Carter today, helped me once again to slow down and take the moment for what it is.
Going nowhere...Going to spend my time in the Now Here (nowhere) moment...Going to hang out with the two people than mean more to me than life itself. So thankful that God has given me another chance to influence their lives...for the better
Saturday, January 17, 2009
Routine
I've been home over a month now. Time sure goes fast. I'm pretty pleased with how things have gone so far and those I've asked are also pleased with the evident change they see from who I was then to who I am now. My goal has not been to please others, but it is nice to hear that others see a difference.
I'm amazed at how simple but profound Gods word really is. I once heard that the greatest act of faith is obedience to Gods word. So true. I can sum up the transformation that has taken place in my heart in two words: Gods word.
I'm sitting in front of the computer with four different bible translations in front of me but I think The Message says it best.
Romans 12: 1-2 'So here's what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life-your sleeping, eating, going to work, and walking-around life-and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don't become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You'll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.'
'
Couple things about this passage. The first thing that sticks out to me is 'God helping you'. I can't do it apart from Him. He wants to help, He enjoys helping. He wants to be apart of it ALL. He isn't going to set me up to fail, He will never ask me to do something that He knows I can't do. How reassuring? The second thing I really like, is He tells you what to do and also tells you what you will gain by doing it. It's almost as if He is saying, 'test me, go ahead and try it...see if it works'. He tells me plain as day right in Romans that if I fix my attention on Him I will be changed from the indside out. I am a living, walking, breathing testimony of that.
The important thing here, and the thing that is most pressing on my heart right now is the word routine. Making sure that I'm not just going through the motions with no real meaning behind it. Going through the motions isn't enough. Going through the motions wont produce a lasting change. Going through the motions wont bring me joy. Going through the motions will get tiring. Going through the motions will bring me right back the the place I started.
God has a plan. His plan will continue with or without me. I would hate to sit on the sidelines and watch while I could actually be playing in the morst important game ever and on an all star winning team at that. Being picked for sports in middle school was a tough time for me...the captains always picked the biggest, fastest, strongest person first and then would trickle down from that to whoever is left over. I was usually one of the 'left overs'. Everyone wants to play with the person with the best record. We've got the option of playing on the team of the undefeated champion of the world. There is no match for Him and the best part...He picked us. Not only did He pick us but He made us, so to Him were the best of the best. It honors Him to have us on His team. But even if we don't choose, He is still God and He still wins.
So...Are you in or out? Are you playing or watching? This passage in Romans tells us how to play. Give God your life as an offering...things wont just become routine if I'm activelly allowing Him to be apart of it all.
Come play with me.
I'm amazed at how simple but profound Gods word really is. I once heard that the greatest act of faith is obedience to Gods word. So true. I can sum up the transformation that has taken place in my heart in two words: Gods word.
I'm sitting in front of the computer with four different bible translations in front of me but I think The Message says it best.
Romans 12: 1-2 'So here's what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life-your sleeping, eating, going to work, and walking-around life-and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don't become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You'll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.'
'
Couple things about this passage. The first thing that sticks out to me is 'God helping you'. I can't do it apart from Him. He wants to help, He enjoys helping. He wants to be apart of it ALL. He isn't going to set me up to fail, He will never ask me to do something that He knows I can't do. How reassuring? The second thing I really like, is He tells you what to do and also tells you what you will gain by doing it. It's almost as if He is saying, 'test me, go ahead and try it...see if it works'. He tells me plain as day right in Romans that if I fix my attention on Him I will be changed from the indside out. I am a living, walking, breathing testimony of that.
The important thing here, and the thing that is most pressing on my heart right now is the word routine. Making sure that I'm not just going through the motions with no real meaning behind it. Going through the motions isn't enough. Going through the motions wont produce a lasting change. Going through the motions wont bring me joy. Going through the motions will get tiring. Going through the motions will bring me right back the the place I started.
God has a plan. His plan will continue with or without me. I would hate to sit on the sidelines and watch while I could actually be playing in the morst important game ever and on an all star winning team at that. Being picked for sports in middle school was a tough time for me...the captains always picked the biggest, fastest, strongest person first and then would trickle down from that to whoever is left over. I was usually one of the 'left overs'. Everyone wants to play with the person with the best record. We've got the option of playing on the team of the undefeated champion of the world. There is no match for Him and the best part...He picked us. Not only did He pick us but He made us, so to Him were the best of the best. It honors Him to have us on His team. But even if we don't choose, He is still God and He still wins.
So...Are you in or out? Are you playing or watching? This passage in Romans tells us how to play. Give God your life as an offering...things wont just become routine if I'm activelly allowing Him to be apart of it all.
Come play with me.
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Snow Day
Today has taught me a few things about myself.
I woke up this morning with a list of errands to run and things that I felt needed to be accomplished. If you live in Chicago you know, by looking out your window, that I was not successful in that mission.
That made me grumpy...I don't like not getting my way. I don't like when things don't go according to plan. I don't like feeling trapped. I don't like not being in control.
God had other plans for my day...
Started my new job this week. Have been worried about how I'm going to make time for everything and everyone and work without getting 'burnt out'. So, because today was my day off, I had what seemed like an endless list of things to do. God snowed me in to show me that if I keep my eyes on Him, everything else will all fall into play, just like Matthew 6:33 tells me. And that it did...amazingly enough.
Now I will admit, I walked around throwing a fit for the first two hours I was awake. That was getting me nowhere, and I quickly decided I didn't want to waist my day acting like a two year old. Plus, it was only hurting me...no one else was even around to witness my tantrum.
Overall, it was a good day. It didn't go as I planned, but I'm confident it went as God had planned. I got to spend majority of my day hanging out with Him. Reading, writing, praying, worshipping. What a better way to spend a day. The sad thing is, if I wasn't snowed in, I can't say that is how I would of spent my day. I'm thankful God sometimes goes through drastic measures to get our attention. I'm thankful I learned this lesson early on in this game called life.
Matthew 6:33 (msg) 'Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don't worry about missing out. You'll find all your everyday human concerns will be met.' Got to experience this firsthand today. Good stuff.
I woke up this morning with a list of errands to run and things that I felt needed to be accomplished. If you live in Chicago you know, by looking out your window, that I was not successful in that mission.
That made me grumpy...I don't like not getting my way. I don't like when things don't go according to plan. I don't like feeling trapped. I don't like not being in control.
God had other plans for my day...
Started my new job this week. Have been worried about how I'm going to make time for everything and everyone and work without getting 'burnt out'. So, because today was my day off, I had what seemed like an endless list of things to do. God snowed me in to show me that if I keep my eyes on Him, everything else will all fall into play, just like Matthew 6:33 tells me. And that it did...amazingly enough.
Now I will admit, I walked around throwing a fit for the first two hours I was awake. That was getting me nowhere, and I quickly decided I didn't want to waist my day acting like a two year old. Plus, it was only hurting me...no one else was even around to witness my tantrum.
Overall, it was a good day. It didn't go as I planned, but I'm confident it went as God had planned. I got to spend majority of my day hanging out with Him. Reading, writing, praying, worshipping. What a better way to spend a day. The sad thing is, if I wasn't snowed in, I can't say that is how I would of spent my day. I'm thankful God sometimes goes through drastic measures to get our attention. I'm thankful I learned this lesson early on in this game called life.
Matthew 6:33 (msg) 'Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don't worry about missing out. You'll find all your everyday human concerns will be met.' Got to experience this firsthand today. Good stuff.
Monday, January 12, 2009
A Friend of God
...Lots going on...Let me share a piece of my heart with you...
'You are as close to God as you choose to be.'
I read this quote and haven't been able to stop thinking about it. It was a slap in the face to me. It really convicts you if you think about. People complain all the time, myself included, 'I'm just too busy'. Well, the truth is, if you want something bad enough you will make the time for it.
Seriously though. I make the time to sleep, because I couldn't function without it. I make the time to eat, because I couldn't live without it. I make the time to talk on the phone, because I need to stay in touch. I make the time to shower, because I would smell if I didn't. I make the time to watch tv, because I need some down time.
How does God play into all this? Are you making time for Him? I make time for God, because I feel empty without Him. I make time for God, because I need Him. I make time for God, because I love Him. I'm not satisfied where I'm at, its time to take it to the next level...
I want to be close to God. I tried to think of this in terms of a relationship with another person. What makes you close to someone? What are things you would do in front of someone your close to that you wouldn't do in front of anyone else? This might sound goofy but...here is what I came up with. I want to be close to God where I'm comfortable walking around with no pants on in front of Him. I want to be close to God where I can fart in front of Him. (Obviously, I already do these things in front of God now...but just read me out) Right now I would say I am the closest with my family. Now were close, but not that close. I don't fart in front of my family, nor do I walk around without pants on. There is a level of intimacy present when your able to just 'let it all hang out' in front of the person your closest too. That is how close I desire to be with God.
I found some verses that really encouraged me to continue on with this journey.
Jer. 29:13 (msg) 'When you get serious about finding me, and want it more than anything else, I'll make sure you wont be disappointed'--what a promise that is!
Eph. 3:20 (msg) 'God can do anything, you know-far more than you could ever IMAGINE or GUESS or REQUEST in your wildest dreams!
Phil. 3:10 sums it all up...'My determined purpose is that I may know Him-that I may progressively become more deeply and intimately acquainted with Him, perceiving and recognizing and understanding the wonders of His person more strongly and more clearly'
Enjoying the journey.
'You are as close to God as you choose to be.'
I read this quote and haven't been able to stop thinking about it. It was a slap in the face to me. It really convicts you if you think about. People complain all the time, myself included, 'I'm just too busy'. Well, the truth is, if you want something bad enough you will make the time for it.
Seriously though. I make the time to sleep, because I couldn't function without it. I make the time to eat, because I couldn't live without it. I make the time to talk on the phone, because I need to stay in touch. I make the time to shower, because I would smell if I didn't. I make the time to watch tv, because I need some down time.
How does God play into all this? Are you making time for Him? I make time for God, because I feel empty without Him. I make time for God, because I need Him. I make time for God, because I love Him. I'm not satisfied where I'm at, its time to take it to the next level...
I want to be close to God. I tried to think of this in terms of a relationship with another person. What makes you close to someone? What are things you would do in front of someone your close to that you wouldn't do in front of anyone else? This might sound goofy but...here is what I came up with. I want to be close to God where I'm comfortable walking around with no pants on in front of Him. I want to be close to God where I can fart in front of Him. (Obviously, I already do these things in front of God now...but just read me out) Right now I would say I am the closest with my family. Now were close, but not that close. I don't fart in front of my family, nor do I walk around without pants on. There is a level of intimacy present when your able to just 'let it all hang out' in front of the person your closest too. That is how close I desire to be with God.
I found some verses that really encouraged me to continue on with this journey.
Jer. 29:13 (msg) 'When you get serious about finding me, and want it more than anything else, I'll make sure you wont be disappointed'--what a promise that is!
Eph. 3:20 (msg) 'God can do anything, you know-far more than you could ever IMAGINE or GUESS or REQUEST in your wildest dreams!
Phil. 3:10 sums it all up...'My determined purpose is that I may know Him-that I may progressively become more deeply and intimately acquainted with Him, perceiving and recognizing and understanding the wonders of His person more strongly and more clearly'
Enjoying the journey.
Thursday, January 8, 2009
6 months vs. 3 weeks
Very eventful day.
Breakfast with my cousin...waffles, made in a old fashioned waffle maker that smells like old people. Classic. Spent majority of the morning loving on her three precious children. We played house, and doctor, and policeman, and we colored too. So much fun. It really helped me to focus in on the here and now and just enjoy what I was doing with no hidden agenda.
I went over to there house at 8 a.m. with a whole list in the back of my mind of things that needed to be accomplished...something that will definately destroy trying to focus in on the here and now. Once we started to play I totally forgot and had so much fun. I spent the morning in a child like state on my hands and knees using my imagination.
Came home and started to 'get things done'...nothing pressing really just little things that have been on my 'list' that I'm sick of staring at. Can we say procrastinator? Yea, I can admit to that. We've all got our stuff...something I need to work on...I'll keep you posted on how thats going : )
Spent my late afternoon in the gym getting my butt kicked. Mycousin is going to be training me to get me toned up...from here on out he will be referred to as the drill sargeant. All I can say is he doesn't take no for an answer. I suppose this will help me work on submission. I'm expecting to not be able to walk in the morning.
New Greys tonight! Any fans? I'm pretty pumped. Me and Babs have a date, and I'm excited because my family was awesome enough to record them for me while I was away. So of course upon my return I pulled an all nighter and got all caught up. Hooray!
Two things on my heart tonight...
1. Doing vs. Being-something I'm known to get caught up in easily. I was writing someone an email expressing my struggle in this area and then I went downstairs to read day 9 of the Purpose Driven Life book and stumbled across these verses...
Hosea 6:6 'I don't want your sacrifices-I want your love; I don't want your offerings-I want you to know me.
*All I can say about this one is how cool? All God wants is us. Exactly how we are. He just wants us to get to know Him to love Him, not to prove our love or go out of our way to get His attention...He wants us just to be.
Ps. 37:23 'The steps of the godly are directed by the Lord. He delights in every detail of their lives.'
*The word that stuck out here was EVERY. He wants to be involved in it ALL. Not some. But ALL. He cares about it ALL. There is no other way to say it.
Ps. 103:14 'He certainly knows what we are made of. He bears in mind that we are dust.'
*This one just threw me over the top. He gets it. He knows its hard for us to live a life of faith. He has compassion on us. Compassion is the capacity to feel what another is feeling. So not only does our God see, know and understand whats going on in our hearts and lives, BUT he feels it. You know how it is when someone you love is hurting or going through something...it hurts you to see them hurt. That is exactly how God is with us. If that isn't comforting I don't know what is.
The only way to explain it is to tell you what someone else told me. 'God is never late, rarely early, and ALWAYS on time'. He knew I needed to read those exactly when I did. He continues to amaze me.
2. The title of my post is 6 months vs. 3 weeks. I've been home all of three weeks yesterday. It is crazy when I sit back and compare all that God has done and all the difference of who I was six months ago and who I am now. So much has happened in six months...I can't even begin to put into words the transformation God has done on my heart. God has used the last three weeks to show me areas that need to be worked on and the part I play in our relationship. I'm so thankful his grace covers me in this area.
Very grateful tonight. Grateful for grace, mercy, unconditional love, forgiveness, acceptance, and redemption. Good stuff.
Time for Greys!
Breakfast with my cousin...waffles, made in a old fashioned waffle maker that smells like old people. Classic. Spent majority of the morning loving on her three precious children. We played house, and doctor, and policeman, and we colored too. So much fun. It really helped me to focus in on the here and now and just enjoy what I was doing with no hidden agenda.
I went over to there house at 8 a.m. with a whole list in the back of my mind of things that needed to be accomplished...something that will definately destroy trying to focus in on the here and now. Once we started to play I totally forgot and had so much fun. I spent the morning in a child like state on my hands and knees using my imagination.
Came home and started to 'get things done'...nothing pressing really just little things that have been on my 'list' that I'm sick of staring at. Can we say procrastinator? Yea, I can admit to that. We've all got our stuff...something I need to work on...I'll keep you posted on how thats going : )
Spent my late afternoon in the gym getting my butt kicked. Mycousin is going to be training me to get me toned up...from here on out he will be referred to as the drill sargeant. All I can say is he doesn't take no for an answer. I suppose this will help me work on submission. I'm expecting to not be able to walk in the morning.
New Greys tonight! Any fans? I'm pretty pumped. Me and Babs have a date, and I'm excited because my family was awesome enough to record them for me while I was away. So of course upon my return I pulled an all nighter and got all caught up. Hooray!
Two things on my heart tonight...
1. Doing vs. Being-something I'm known to get caught up in easily. I was writing someone an email expressing my struggle in this area and then I went downstairs to read day 9 of the Purpose Driven Life book and stumbled across these verses...
Hosea 6:6 'I don't want your sacrifices-I want your love; I don't want your offerings-I want you to know me.
*All I can say about this one is how cool? All God wants is us. Exactly how we are. He just wants us to get to know Him to love Him, not to prove our love or go out of our way to get His attention...He wants us just to be.
Ps. 37:23 'The steps of the godly are directed by the Lord. He delights in every detail of their lives.'
*The word that stuck out here was EVERY. He wants to be involved in it ALL. Not some. But ALL. He cares about it ALL. There is no other way to say it.
Ps. 103:14 'He certainly knows what we are made of. He bears in mind that we are dust.'
*This one just threw me over the top. He gets it. He knows its hard for us to live a life of faith. He has compassion on us. Compassion is the capacity to feel what another is feeling. So not only does our God see, know and understand whats going on in our hearts and lives, BUT he feels it. You know how it is when someone you love is hurting or going through something...it hurts you to see them hurt. That is exactly how God is with us. If that isn't comforting I don't know what is.
The only way to explain it is to tell you what someone else told me. 'God is never late, rarely early, and ALWAYS on time'. He knew I needed to read those exactly when I did. He continues to amaze me.
2. The title of my post is 6 months vs. 3 weeks. I've been home all of three weeks yesterday. It is crazy when I sit back and compare all that God has done and all the difference of who I was six months ago and who I am now. So much has happened in six months...I can't even begin to put into words the transformation God has done on my heart. God has used the last three weeks to show me areas that need to be worked on and the part I play in our relationship. I'm so thankful his grace covers me in this area.
Very grateful tonight. Grateful for grace, mercy, unconditional love, forgiveness, acceptance, and redemption. Good stuff.
Time for Greys!
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Clarification
Need to clarify something so I am not misunderstood...
At the end of my last post from earlier today I said, 'I don't know about you but when I think of being the daughter of a King. I think of being treated like royalty. I think of receiving nothing but the best.'
I think that can be taken wrongly so let me explain what I meant. I am not unaware that we live in a fallen messy world, people aren't always going to be treated nice, fair, or like princesses. I get that. I did not mean in any way shape or form that I expect to be treated like a princess or like royalty from any other person.
I was saying that I know that I am treated like royalty and given nothing but the best from my Heavenly Father, from my King. A King knows how to treat a princess, He knows what is best for His daughter and He gives her nothing but that.
I also know being royalty comes with a price. You live with a much higher expectation on your life. You live in the spotlight, with people always watching. You don't want to make the King look bad. It sounds like a lot of pressure, but its actually an honor. We serve a King, the creator of the universe. What a privilege!
I've been reflecting on this all afternoon and its brought me to a point of true humility.
I end with this...You can never be greater than your Master (The King), and your Master was a servant. We are called to serve, even as princesses of the Most High King. We are taught by example, and we should lead by example.
At the end of my last post from earlier today I said, 'I don't know about you but when I think of being the daughter of a King. I think of being treated like royalty. I think of receiving nothing but the best.'
I think that can be taken wrongly so let me explain what I meant. I am not unaware that we live in a fallen messy world, people aren't always going to be treated nice, fair, or like princesses. I get that. I did not mean in any way shape or form that I expect to be treated like a princess or like royalty from any other person.
I was saying that I know that I am treated like royalty and given nothing but the best from my Heavenly Father, from my King. A King knows how to treat a princess, He knows what is best for His daughter and He gives her nothing but that.
I also know being royalty comes with a price. You live with a much higher expectation on your life. You live in the spotlight, with people always watching. You don't want to make the King look bad. It sounds like a lot of pressure, but its actually an honor. We serve a King, the creator of the universe. What a privilege!
I've been reflecting on this all afternoon and its brought me to a point of true humility.
I end with this...You can never be greater than your Master (The King), and your Master was a servant. We are called to serve, even as princesses of the Most High King. We are taught by example, and we should lead by example.
Daughter of a King
In spite of my amazing day yesterday I woke up this morning feeling not so great. In all honesty, I didn't even want to get out of bed. But I did, and for that I'm glad.
I was getting ready and I found a necklace I received from a Mercy donor for Christmas. It is just a simple crown on a silver chain. As soon as I saw I was immediately reminded that I'm a daughter of the King.
I put it on and went about my day. I went to Starbucks to work on some stuff and all the while just wasn't feeling it. I was preparing my lesson for Sunday school this week and working on some 'kid stuff', but the whole time just felt empty. Feeling restless and like I was getting nowhere I put that stuff to the side and just started to read my bible.
Recently I described my bible as no longer a giant rule book, but a love letter and guide for my life. I want to share with you a love letter from my daddy...
Sarah.
I know everything about you.
I saw you before you were born.
Your life is in my hands.
I think about you constantly.
I will never reject you.
You are perfect to me.
I know everything you need and I will provide.
I am the only constant in your life.
I will wipe every tear from your eyes.
You were created to be like me.
You are my child.
I sacrificed my everything for you.
I am on your team, and your biggest fan.
Nothing can seperate us.
I value you.
I have plans for you.
You bring me glory.
I call you by your name.
I wont fail you.
I'm always with you.
I love you.
Dad
It really helped me to calm down and come back to planet earth. I don't have to have it all figured out because He already does. He loves me just as I am. When I'm a mess, and when I'm at my best.
I don't know about you but when I think of being the daughter of a King. I think of being treated like royalty. I think of receiving nothing but the best.
It's time to press in and press on...
I was getting ready and I found a necklace I received from a Mercy donor for Christmas. It is just a simple crown on a silver chain. As soon as I saw I was immediately reminded that I'm a daughter of the King.
I put it on and went about my day. I went to Starbucks to work on some stuff and all the while just wasn't feeling it. I was preparing my lesson for Sunday school this week and working on some 'kid stuff', but the whole time just felt empty. Feeling restless and like I was getting nowhere I put that stuff to the side and just started to read my bible.
Recently I described my bible as no longer a giant rule book, but a love letter and guide for my life. I want to share with you a love letter from my daddy...
Sarah.
I know everything about you.
I saw you before you were born.
Your life is in my hands.
I think about you constantly.
I will never reject you.
You are perfect to me.
I know everything you need and I will provide.
I am the only constant in your life.
I will wipe every tear from your eyes.
You were created to be like me.
You are my child.
I sacrificed my everything for you.
I am on your team, and your biggest fan.
Nothing can seperate us.
I value you.
I have plans for you.
You bring me glory.
I call you by your name.
I wont fail you.
I'm always with you.
I love you.
Dad
It really helped me to calm down and come back to planet earth. I don't have to have it all figured out because He already does. He loves me just as I am. When I'm a mess, and when I'm at my best.
I don't know about you but when I think of being the daughter of a King. I think of being treated like royalty. I think of receiving nothing but the best.
It's time to press in and press on...
Monday, January 5, 2009
Monday
Super busy day...
Majority of my morning was spent on the phone, all good news and encouraging conversations. Met a pretty awesome woman of God for coffee, again super encouraging. The one thing I had on my heart to talk her about, was the only thing she was interested in talking about...and I didn't even tell her what that was. I didn't even have to bring it up...God totally took care of it. Very much a relief.
My afternoon was spent job hunting...how exhausting? When it comes to finding a job I've had it pretty easy. Every single job I've ever had I was pretty much handed, got right on the spot. Yea, I know..I'm just that awesome. Today didn't go exactly that way...but I did get a good lead. Waiting to see how it plays out. Going to hit the field again tomorrow.
Possibly might be taking a mini road trip to Milkwaukee next weekend to see Anberlin and a pretty awesome girl named Kristin...oh and her vincent boyfriend : ) All I can say about the trip, if it all works out on her end, is trust is a beautiful thing. 6 months ago if I would of asked my parents to do something like this they would of laughed...it would of never happened. But when I asked tonight they didn't even have to 'think about it'...I got a yes almost immediately, after the whole car safety talk of course! I wasn't even scared to ask because I knew that exactly what I was telling them I was doing was what I was going to be doing. There was no pressure, no sneaking around...there really is freedom in that. I can't tell you how good it feels to be trusted. Trust is something I don't ever want to take from granted again...it is a hard thing to regain once lost.
I knew without a doubt coming home from Mercy that I was a changed person. But I knew my loved ones weren't exactly convinced because they didn't have the joy of watching me 'walk it out'. God has gone above and beyond to bring restoration to all the relationships most important to me. I had the opportunity this morning to sit back and reflect and all that He has done for me just in the last 3 weeks...everywhere I look I can see His hand. The same God I experienced and fell in love with at Mercy came home with me.
I'm in love with my Maker...head over heals in love. I've never experienced a love like this and I'm told it gets better. Even with all the uncertainties I'm facing, I'm ok because even though I don't know what the days ahead of me hold...I know the one who writes my days, and I'm secure in the palm of His hand.
Good stuff.
Majority of my morning was spent on the phone, all good news and encouraging conversations. Met a pretty awesome woman of God for coffee, again super encouraging. The one thing I had on my heart to talk her about, was the only thing she was interested in talking about...and I didn't even tell her what that was. I didn't even have to bring it up...God totally took care of it. Very much a relief.
My afternoon was spent job hunting...how exhausting? When it comes to finding a job I've had it pretty easy. Every single job I've ever had I was pretty much handed, got right on the spot. Yea, I know..I'm just that awesome. Today didn't go exactly that way...but I did get a good lead. Waiting to see how it plays out. Going to hit the field again tomorrow.
Possibly might be taking a mini road trip to Milkwaukee next weekend to see Anberlin and a pretty awesome girl named Kristin...oh and her vincent boyfriend : ) All I can say about the trip, if it all works out on her end, is trust is a beautiful thing. 6 months ago if I would of asked my parents to do something like this they would of laughed...it would of never happened. But when I asked tonight they didn't even have to 'think about it'...I got a yes almost immediately, after the whole car safety talk of course! I wasn't even scared to ask because I knew that exactly what I was telling them I was doing was what I was going to be doing. There was no pressure, no sneaking around...there really is freedom in that. I can't tell you how good it feels to be trusted. Trust is something I don't ever want to take from granted again...it is a hard thing to regain once lost.
I knew without a doubt coming home from Mercy that I was a changed person. But I knew my loved ones weren't exactly convinced because they didn't have the joy of watching me 'walk it out'. God has gone above and beyond to bring restoration to all the relationships most important to me. I had the opportunity this morning to sit back and reflect and all that He has done for me just in the last 3 weeks...everywhere I look I can see His hand. The same God I experienced and fell in love with at Mercy came home with me.
I'm in love with my Maker...head over heals in love. I've never experienced a love like this and I'm told it gets better. Even with all the uncertainties I'm facing, I'm ok because even though I don't know what the days ahead of me hold...I know the one who writes my days, and I'm secure in the palm of His hand.
Good stuff.
Sunday, January 4, 2009
Uncertainties
I've been in an odd frame of mind all day. Not quite sure what is going on, I think reality is starting to set in.
I'm dealing with a lot of uncertainities here lately. It is definately an opportunity to trust God. It's easy to trust God when you know exactly what life holds...but once you step into the unknown its a whole new ball game. He has never not taken care of me in the past, and if I look back to the last few months I can see His hand all over my life.
I'm currently reading The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren. Great book, very challenging. It's more like a 40 day devotional. You read a chapter a day and reflect. Todays reading was about how life is a test and a trust. The reflection question was, 'what has happened to me recently that I now realize was a test from God?'. I feel as if I'm at that exact place right now as I write.
I've been home from Mercy now all of 18 days...I've been going going going since I stepped off the plane. I'm exhausted. My brain hurts...this evening I attempted to relax and just watch tv and I couldn't sit still. All I can think about is the week ahead of me...and the lovely task of going out to look for a job.
God is testing me. He wants to be apart of my ENTIRE life...I've been holding back. I have a tendancy to limit Him sometimes. I'm limiting Him. No more of that, the box I have put Him in is busting at the seems-He is too big for it! Just had a mini revelation...This blogging thing isn't so bad after all.
Going to hang out with Jesus...we've got some things to talk about.
I'm dealing with a lot of uncertainities here lately. It is definately an opportunity to trust God. It's easy to trust God when you know exactly what life holds...but once you step into the unknown its a whole new ball game. He has never not taken care of me in the past, and if I look back to the last few months I can see His hand all over my life.
I'm currently reading The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren. Great book, very challenging. It's more like a 40 day devotional. You read a chapter a day and reflect. Todays reading was about how life is a test and a trust. The reflection question was, 'what has happened to me recently that I now realize was a test from God?'. I feel as if I'm at that exact place right now as I write.
I've been home from Mercy now all of 18 days...I've been going going going since I stepped off the plane. I'm exhausted. My brain hurts...this evening I attempted to relax and just watch tv and I couldn't sit still. All I can think about is the week ahead of me...and the lovely task of going out to look for a job.
God is testing me. He wants to be apart of my ENTIRE life...I've been holding back. I have a tendancy to limit Him sometimes. I'm limiting Him. No more of that, the box I have put Him in is busting at the seems-He is too big for it! Just had a mini revelation...This blogging thing isn't so bad after all.
Going to hang out with Jesus...we've got some things to talk about.
Saturday, January 3, 2009
Frustrated
I'm attempting for the third time tonight to re-do my ipod. I simply tried to add one song and it deleted my whole library and replaced it with that one specific song. How frustrating? Not how I planned on spending the last 45 minutes...
While it's busy doing it's thing...I have time for an update.
I got to do several of my absolute favorite things today:
-Spend time with a pretty awesome person that I would consider my best friend.
-Drive
-Spend the entire day in a coffee shop
-Listen
-Talk about God
What a good day. We spent almost our entire day sitting in a coffee shop just talking and mostly talking about God.
At the end of our conversation, my friend leaned in and asked me to pray for her, right in the middle of the coffee shop. I thought that was pretty cool. I can honestly say that I have never prayed in public like that and I've never been asked to pray in public like that. I was honored, it was a pretty powerful moment and a significant move forward in our friendship. good stuff. Without even knowing it she helped to push me out of my comfort zone. For that, I'm thankful.
God just never ceases to amaze me.
I started out this post super frustrated, but once I took my focus off my frustration and put it elsewhere...my frustration fell off, I got to reflect on my amazing day, and now my ipod is all set. All is well.
While it's busy doing it's thing...I have time for an update.
I got to do several of my absolute favorite things today:
-Spend time with a pretty awesome person that I would consider my best friend.
-Drive
-Spend the entire day in a coffee shop
-Listen
-Talk about God
What a good day. We spent almost our entire day sitting in a coffee shop just talking and mostly talking about God.
At the end of our conversation, my friend leaned in and asked me to pray for her, right in the middle of the coffee shop. I thought that was pretty cool. I can honestly say that I have never prayed in public like that and I've never been asked to pray in public like that. I was honored, it was a pretty powerful moment and a significant move forward in our friendship. good stuff. Without even knowing it she helped to push me out of my comfort zone. For that, I'm thankful.
God just never ceases to amaze me.
I started out this post super frustrated, but once I took my focus off my frustration and put it elsewhere...my frustration fell off, I got to reflect on my amazing day, and now my ipod is all set. All is well.
Friday, January 2, 2009
Blogging
I've never had a blog before. I will admit though I'm a creeper, I like to read others blogs...even if I don't know the person. So I thought I would try this out.
Mainly what you will find written is whatever is going on in my head. I think I'm a pretty interesting person...so maybe you will too, and if you don't thats ok because this blog isn't for you.
Right now...I'm tired and can't think much past that. That doesn't give you much hope that I'm an interesting person now does it? Oh well, maybe it will keep you coming back for more.
Until then...
Mainly what you will find written is whatever is going on in my head. I think I'm a pretty interesting person...so maybe you will too, and if you don't thats ok because this blog isn't for you.
Right now...I'm tired and can't think much past that. That doesn't give you much hope that I'm an interesting person now does it? Oh well, maybe it will keep you coming back for more.
Until then...
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)
